Great piece that really speaks to me because I have a REAL issue with people not taking accountability, for things both big and tiny, and this applies to both men and women. I've always struggled to see why it's so hard, I see it as basic courtesy. If I flake/mess up my automatic reaction is to own it and apologise profusely (and not just because I'm British!) I think people are often too self-absorbed to step outside themselves to consider how they are impacting others and/or have too fragile a sense of self to be able to take accountability even for small things. I was listening to a podcast recently where they were discussing how in our western culture apologising is seen as weakness, and I think that's a blocker for many. But refusing to take accountability makes someone look weak to me, and indeed makes me lose respect for them. Ok I got that off my chest 😂
Oh yeah 100%, over-apologising is akin to over-explaining, like you mention in the article. It can get uncomfortable for the other person, I've been on the receiving end, and it actually demands more of them (to reassure the apologising party it's OK, if only to get them to shut up!) It's another way to escape true accountability imo.
Great piece that really speaks to me because I have a REAL issue with people not taking accountability, for things both big and tiny, and this applies to both men and women. I've always struggled to see why it's so hard, I see it as basic courtesy. If I flake/mess up my automatic reaction is to own it and apologise profusely (and not just because I'm British!) I think people are often too self-absorbed to step outside themselves to consider how they are impacting others and/or have too fragile a sense of self to be able to take accountability even for small things. I was listening to a podcast recently where they were discussing how in our western culture apologising is seen as weakness, and I think that's a blocker for many. But refusing to take accountability makes someone look weak to me, and indeed makes me lose respect for them. Ok I got that off my chest 😂
I hear you 100%. The misperception on perceived strength vs weakness
I do think there is a fine line between apologizing and over-apologizing. Do you think there’s a difference?
Oh yeah 100%, over-apologising is akin to over-explaining, like you mention in the article. It can get uncomfortable for the other person, I've been on the receiving end, and it actually demands more of them (to reassure the apologising party it's OK, if only to get them to shut up!) It's another way to escape true accountability imo.
The "nice guys default to option #1" immediately triggered me.
This would have been me 100% a couple of years ago.
Learning to be fully accountable for your fu^* ups is the only way to get respect and grow.
Such an important lesson.