Why You Struggle to Speak Up (And How to Fix It)

Ever felt like your throat closes up the second you try to say something that actually matters?

It’s like your body physically won’t let the words out. Not because you can’t speak, but because something inside you is refusing to let you.

I noticed this the other day. Every time I stretched, drank water, or even adjusted my posture, these old narratives kept creeping in—doubts, fears, and voices that weren’t mine were getting in the way of my thinking and assuming the front and center of my attention.

And it hit me: Why does expanding my throat feel like expanding my identity? Why does opening up physically trigger resistance in me?

Maybe you’ve felt it too. That hesitation when you want to raise your hand. The headtrash/narrative that stops you from speaking in a room full of people. The way your voice literally cracks when you try to tell the truth (it cracks in this video).

Your silence isn’t random. It’s learned. And you won’t break free until you recognize what’s controlling it.

When you hold back your voice, you’re not just avoiding discomfort—you’re training yourself to be (and stay) small.

Whenever you hesitate to say what you think, your brain is recording the idea that silence is safer than truth.

And over time, it stops feeling like a choice. It becomes a habit, almost instinctive.

But if you don’t speak your truth, it doesn’t just disappear. It builds. It turns into frustration, insecurity, and tension—not just emotionally, but physically too.

So what do you do? Consider:

1. Psychology → Dig into the narratives holding you back. What are you afraid of? What do you believe will happen if you speak?

2. Philosophy → Redefine what speaking up means. What if your words do matter? What if silence is costing you more than rejection might?

3. Performance → Train your voice. Speak into a mirror. Record yourself, watch it back, delete it. Get used to hearing yourself speak through fear. (I map out this strategy step by step in the video)

Because here’s the truth:

Your voice isn’t broken. Your body just learned that silence was safer than speaking. And if you trained yourself into it, you can train yourself out.

I break it all down in this video. Try this, and tell me—where have you been holding back your voice? And what happens when you finally let it out?